Fucking Up The Right Way Is How You Improve Your Reputation, Your Business And Your Life

Originally posted by bart_calendar at Fucking Up The Right Way Is How You Improve Your Reputation, Your Business And Your Life
The other morning I stumbled upon a story about the transabeled.

I knew nothing about them and the way the article was written made them look like a bunch of assholes.

So, I shared it on Facebook with the comment "Fuck these people."

Within minutes a bunch of smart people told me the article was full of shit, that being transabled is real and the people are not the assholes I'd thought. They provided links and explained what was really going on.

I then made a new post saying "Fine. I was wrong about the transabeled."

And suddenly people, most of whom were not even involved in the intial discussion, started saying really nice things about me. I'm not surprised. I've found that's often how the world works.

To put it bluntly fucking up and then owning the fact that you fucked up can make you look better than if you've never fucked up at all.

I've seen this many times over the years as a freelancer. My most loyal clients aren't the ones who have loved the first draft of something I've sent them. It's the ones where because of a brain fart I completely misunderstood what they wanted at first and turned in something fucked up.

When they've pointed out I was being a bonehead, I've appologized and then sent them what they actually wanted. Whenever that happens I get a huge amount of positive feedback from them. Often this feedback comes with stories about how other freelancers they'd worked with tried to give them 100 excuses as to why their fuck up wasn't their fault. They respected me more becasue I offered no excuses and simply fixed the problem.

What they said they liked - and why they wanted to keep using me on more  jobs - is the way I'd handled the fuck up.

I think that's pretty much the way most relationships work.   People know people fuck up and generally don't judge them for the fuck up - they   judge them on how they deal with the fuck up.

Figuring that out will help you in many, many parts of your life.

Tumblr's Anticapitalist Set Are So Stultifyingly Disingenuous

Like: These fuckers know that capital rents/yields accumulate faster than economic growth (or they should), they know that classism is a spectrum, and that there is an absolute minimum that people need to live on...

And yet they will continually go out of their way to justify their own middle-class lifestyles, when they could be living at the poverty line and saving the remainder for purposes of actually building some non-oppressive spaces and investment.

I guess worker ownership of the means of production is fine so long as everyone else pays for it, or if it's saved for a nebulous, utopian, 'after-the-revolution.' Attempting anything that would put someone eventually in the neighbourhood of working 12-hour graves at a convenience store that you own that pays all the workers a living wage, and tries to divest to all of them is a little too worker-owned for them.

A Helmet for Poverty in America


"We’re all players in the great American game of capitalism. Like football players, we take hits every single day. Only instead of getting decked by 350 pound brutes, we get hit with charges to our bank account for rent, food, and all the other everyday expenses it takes to live. Where are our helmets?

Both the NFL and US safety policies have the goal of protecting their participants. But there’s one big difference: The NFL’s safety helmet policy is unconditionally mandated. Every single player in the NFL is provided with and required to wear a helmet. It’s a simple and effective policy.

The US safety net system on the other hand…not so much. We require a citizen to be desperately poor or disabled before they can even be considered for protection. That’s like letting a football player get bashed in the head without a helmet, then putting one on his noggin once he’s in a wheelchair at the hospital. Doesn’t help much. The damage has already been done."

We do indeed need a Basic Income and this is one of the best explanations as to why.


Originally posted by marjaerwin at post
What kind of praxis would it take to keep bad rumors, misinterpretation, and defamation from spreading?

I know I often misinterpret things…


The Right to Face Your Accuser.

It's an oldie but a goodie.

I just want some sappy sapphic spoonie science-fiction romance stories.

Originally posted by marjaerwin at I just want some sappy sapphic spoonie science-fiction romance stories.
I want to read about two womyn helping each other when one or both are sick.

I want to read about one womon helping give another back her health, or giving another a new body.

I want to read about four womyn saving the world.

I want to read about someone finding someone like me worth friendship, and worth loving, and worth respect, and worth screwing.

I want to read about someone like me making the world better.


You know, I was going to complain about the lack of a reblog button, but there's a share button.

So Early-Transition Trans Women Are Arguing Caitlyn Jenner Isn't Actually A Trans Woman...

The median age of transition for trans women is 42... Caitlyn Jenner is 60, or 18 years above that median.

I transitioned at 26, or 18 years below that median.

You have NO idea what it was like to be a trans teenager in the 1970s, or for that matter the 1990s. Shut the fuck up.

No, she’s not fake (though suffering from hella internalized transmisogyny), and fuck every conditionally-cis-privileged jackass who tumblr helps insulate from their own bullshit.

I'm Back!

Welcome back, Livejournal. After getting dragged away to the festering shithole that is tumblr, due to network effects, they've finally gone out of their way to make it easier for serial abusers to defame people with their new, 'improved' block function. The right of reply to publicly published, defamatory work, is gone.

Maybe we can fund a class-action via kickstarter and sue Yahoo's deep pockets into oblivion for all the rapists they're helping cover for, the abusers they're helping gaslight others with impunity, and just general shittyness involved in ensuring that those with the largest social networks can do the most harm with the fewest consequences.

Tumblr has always been neoliberal leftism at its most developed, now it's finally so odious that it's not worth it for me to participate, save to promote livejournal (which is kind of exactly how I got dragged into tumblr).

Where Valerie Says Unpopular And Easily Demagogued Things

We've all read that article on a trans person, a thousand frigging times, where the cissexist person goes back and forth with the pronouns, treating them as their CASAB before they transitioned and their identified sex now that that's generally acceptable to cis society. Everyone hates those articles, because they degender the fuck out of trans lives, trans people pre-transition, treat transition as a sex change when it's an assertion of sex, and ignore the fact that neurological sex is not plastic, no matter how much porn we may have seen or written that likes to imply otherwise.

But when trans people do the same, it's suddenly okay? It's their identity and we shoudn't question their identity, right? Bullshit.

The part of the brain that's sexually dimorphic is non-neuroplastic from infancy, so there's every reason to expect fluidity, non-binary identification, and discovering an identification that works better at a later date. There is, however, no demonstrable case of a boy-that-becomes-a-girl. There are, however, plenty of instances of girl-who-stops-pretending-she's-a-boy.

Trans people were never their CASAB, and a narrative chock full of internalized cissexism, a narrative that treats a young girl as a boy because she wasn't recognized as a girl, wasn't allowed to recognize herself as a girl, should be criticized (though perhaps more in abstract than on a case-by-case basis, because the best weapon against self-hate is acceptance). Narrative, especially one that relies on cis standards, isn't identity. Identity is identity.

You Think You Don't Agree With Us, But Really, You Don't Understand...

Friend of mine pointed me to yet another tired old trope on gendertrender, which I'm not linking.

Yes, there is such a thing as sexually dimorphic, nonneuroplastic, female neurology and there's such a thing as sexually dimorphic, nonneuroplastic male neurology.

Male however, is neither shorthand, synonym, or analogue, for butch. I know that, other transfeminists know that, but on some level you either don't seem to, or you assume such disingenuously.

male-midbrain/female-midbrain is not the same as femmebrain/butchbrain, the latter of which (doesn't exist/hasn't ever been demonstrated) and is yet another tired attempt to impose heteronormativity on lesbians like me, by the harem guards, the misogynistically cissexist TERFs.

You no longer own my body and you never will again.

New Comment Policy Assigned Name/Sex as Weapon.

Anyone making any reference to a person's assigned name or sex as carrying any legitimacy that does not accurately reflect that person's lived experience of either will be deleted, the libel in question redacted, and reposted.

This is more generous than the moderation policy on other forums in which I write. The hate will be preserved. The meat of the libel will not. If you want to do that, if you would rather attempt to write things that trigger the womyn this blog fights for, you may go shout into the nearest genital echo chamber you can find, such as Gendertrender.

FYI and this is also more generous than the moderation policy on the hate site I just referenced.

This policy takes effect immediately. The no-anonymous-comments policy already in place will continue.

And on an unrelated note, as I've been telling everybody: If you go to measuringworth.com, and check out the inflation-adjusted, per-capita GDP numbers for Great Britain, you can see the dramatic failure of Thatcherism first-hand.

1948-1979: Annualized Growth of 2.27% 1979-2010: 1.86%, that works out to 3003 pounds per Briton.